My One Wild & Precious Life Story

The Golden Cage 

It is late 2014 and am in my mid-fifties. I have spent many successful years in the Western Australia office of a mid-size international management consulting firm as a Senior Consultant. I am feeling exhausted. I am worn-out. I have become frustrated with the intense lifestyle of travel, company politics, and demanding clients. I am disappointed in the meagre impact I feel I am still able to contribute, I feel uninspired too much of the time by how I am living my life.  

I am feeling trapped. My life occurs more and more to me as a golden cage. The cage of the big career, the really good money, the status, the potential difference to be made, the enticement of a good retirement package. It’s just a few more years. I can do that, right?? 

The Question

After this unease keeps growing in me for a good while, I dare to ask myself a rather radical Question, inspired by my favourite poet Mary Oliver: “What am I going to do with the rest of My One Wild & Precious Life? Will I soldier on, surviving these last few years, holding out for a good retirement? Or is there life outside this world of more-than-full-time consulting, a life that might be better suited to me at this stage of my life? A life of a more fulfilling purpose? A life in which I have energy and time for other things than work?"
 

The Roller Coaster 

Do I dare to make a move, to throw my (purple) hat over the wall, dare to risk, dare to be different?
It is a tough place to be in for a few months. So many Yes but’s… and What if’s…  So many concerns about money, security and taking care of my loved ones, as I am the breadwinner in our family; about who I will be in the world if I am no longer who I am now, who I have known myself to be for so many years. And how will the company react? My boss, colleagues, clients? Am I not letting them all down? On and on the thoughts and feelings go, like a huge rollercoaster that never stops. It is exhausting. 

Several months into this expanding internal turmoil, I find the courage to share what is going on in my heart and head with my family, a few friends, a couple of trusted colleagues and my life coach. Feeling supported by others who have my back allows me to be with all that’s going on. There are still some sleepless nights, but at least this time I am not lying awake thinking about what to do in a tricky situation with a tough client, but about me and what I want to do with what is left of my life. If I take after my mum and the maternal line of my family, my mind will begin to falter in another ten years or so from dementia… so what do I want to do with those years, if that indeed turns out to be what I’ve got left?

The Choice

And then, early 2015, all the thinking and feeling leads naturally to a clear answer to the Question. I firmly decide that I will leave my job before the end of the year, no matter what. I declare this future to those who are dear to me and to some trusted individuals in the company. I am 100% certain what I do NOT want to do with the Rest of my One Wild & Precious Life. It’s such a relief. I can finally get off the rollercoaster. Which does not mean that it no longer feels scary, it does. It takes ongoing courage to dare to step into the big unknown. And that still feels so much better than hoping for the unhappy, unfulfilling present to change. 

Life's Answers

It’s interesting how life unfolds once a human being really chooses to powerfully live by her own standards, in line with her personal integrity. Life answers, in this case with an offer of voluntary redundancy. Hence, I leave quite a bit before the end of the year, feeling relieved, elated and free. I travel with my family throughout Europe for a few months, relaxing, being still, enjoying having nothing that must be done, living in the present moment, finding my mojo again. And just when I am starting to feel a bit antsy, when I am starting to think that I want to do something for other people again, I get a phone call with the request to assist on a part-time free-lance basis on a interesting project, that leads to more free-lance work and even to living back in my home country, The Netherlands, after 20 years in Australia. Now that was totally unpredictable when I started asking myself The Question back in 2014!

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I have kept asking myself The Question ever since. Quite a few of the answers have been anything but easy – some of them have led to the hardest choices I have ever had to face in my entire life, most importantly ending my marriage of 24 years. It has been worth it, as I get to the live My One Wild & Precious Life on my terms, in line with what matters most to me in this stage of my life - which however tough at times, has been fulfilling and empowering. And the inquiry has let me to many new experiences and ways to express myself, for example by starting to paint, picking up my old hobby of knitting and engaging in reading, sharing and writing poetry... have a look on the Inspirations page.

My Contribution

And now I want to put something in the world through a breakthrough coaching (and workshops/webinars) offering to assist and contribute to other mature-age professionals who are looking to answer their version of The Question.

What makes me feel certain I have something to contribute to, apart from my own life experience, is what I have gained in skills, knowledge, insights, inspiration - and may I say wisdom from all I have undertaken and contributed to thousands of people in the last 35 years. 

• Master in Adult Education from Radboud University Nijmegen (NL), an Graduate Diploma in Organisational Development from University of Amsterdam (NL), ICF-accredited Executive and Life Coach, NLP Practitioner, Accredited Facilitator in both MBTI and DISC Profile, senior graduate of a variety transformational leadership development programs by Landmark Worldwide, MIT U-Lab graduate and numerous other personal, spiritual and business development programs over the years

• In the Higher Education sector in the Netherlands and in Australia I contributed to the professional and personal development of hundreds of academic and general staff members as well as students

• In the holistic health sector I trained and coached teams of people in being genuine and effective in their communication

• In Australian local government I assisted and coached leadership teams and individual leaders to work powerfully together to create results for the communities they served

• In the Oil & Gas sector I coached leaders from the executive, middle-management and supervisory level, as well as many teams and groups in the distinctions and practices of transformational safety leadership

• In the Energy sector I trained and developed internal safety leadership coaches, as well as designed and delivered leadership programs 

Based on all of that and more, I now choose to focus on assisting other mature-age professionals who are asking themselves The Question and am excited being of service to help them finding their answers.